Knowing Me, Knowing You

The other day, I read a bumper sticker which said:

"There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore, and who always will. So don't worry about people from your past, there is a reason why they didn't make it to your future"

Them's pretty powerful words me thinks!

It's interesting though, the reason this stuck out to me most of all was that I've been thinking about friendships a lot lately. I have some of the best friends ever. I honestly do. I've got old friends I've had since I was quite young, new friends I can't remember living life without, friends who live within 10 minutes drive away, friends who live longer than a 10 hour flight away and friends who I know even though we don't see or speak to each other often, there is no judgement or condemnation and they will be there no matter what, knowing full well that when we see each other, we will pick up exactly where we left off.

The flip side to that, is that over the years, I've lost a lot of friends as well. I know there are "seasons" for everything, and that lots of people come into your life for a Season and that's all, but I've always struggled with that thought. That people aren't friends forever. I guess because I love my friends so much and I try to invest in them as much as I can. This has meant that I have spent many an agonising night crying over the loss of a friend, that perhaps was not the best person to have in my life for a reason. This bumpersticker stood out to me because of the line "So don't worry about people from your past, there's a reason why they didn't make it to your future."... there is a reason why they didn't make it to your future. Not all friendships from the past have ended badly, they're the "seasonal" friendships. But why is it that we try to hold onto the friendships that have broken our hearts? Perhaps there is a reason they are not in your future... and perhaps, there's a reason you're not in theirs.

I've spent my life trying to be a good friend, and for the most part, I think that my investments in friendships have worked. I've got some people in my life that absolutely blow my mind... people that I have NO IDEA why they are friends with me - we don't believe the same things, we don't work in the same field, we don't have ANYTHING in common except our love for each other. They are blessings in my life.

This morning, I was doing my devotions and started reading an old faithful 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 - the old "LOVE IS...." passage made famous at millions of weddings. But as I was reading it, I felt God saying to me, replace Love with Friendship (because at the end of the day, isn't friendship another form of love?)...

"Friendship is patient and kind.
Friendship is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude.
It does not demand its own way.
It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.
It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.
Friendship never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance."

I had to think - am I that sort of friend? Are the people in my life those sorts of friends?

Last night we had our small group again. We're talking about King David, which is great, but the thing I got most out of last night, was the Fellowship we were having. The opportunity to get to know some of my newest friends at a deeper level. One of the questions we were asked was "What sort of animal are you in a conflict?" and the answers helped us to know each other better. We now know how each of us is going to deal when conflicts arise within our group. We know how we're going to react. We took the time to listen to what makes us tick, and we got an insight into how our families work through conflict.

Then we prayed for each other. We were honest and raw with each other. There were tears, there was lots of laughter, but most of all there was a feeling of genuine love and friendship.

As I got home (at 11:30 - not bad considering Small Group starts at 7:30!!!) I checked my mailbox, and saw a card that had been left there (no address, just my name). It was from one of the families from our church (their children are Extreme Kids & Extreme Soldiers). I'd spoken to the mother on Tuesday after my shocker of a day on Monday, and they all felt they just wanted to remind me that they are my friends, they love me and they're here if I need anything. That's love. That's friendship. And that's what matters!