It's been an interesting few weeks. My health continues to deteriorate, and with it comes a bit of depression - you know the whole "Everyone is out there having fun and I'm cooped up in the house" sort of depression. Nothing too bad, just a bit meh you know?
My Training Principal sent me an email today to find out how I was going, and asked the question - "How's your soul?" Before I started at Training College, that question would have scared me, I mean what is the right answer?! But the longer I've been at College, and have come to expect that question from our TP, the more I realize honesty is the best policy on this one.
So I guess right now my soul is clinging desperately to a God who I know can heal. A God who is so much bigger than any issue we might face. A God who looks at me and says "Sarah your soul is fine, you're going to make it!" And the more I cling, the more at peace I become with where my soul is at. I'm assured of a Saviour who leads me through all things and will never leave me or forsake me...and because of that, I'm free.
Am I happy with my life as it currently is? No, of course not! I don't know anybody who given my situation would say they are truly "happy". But I am saved, and I am free. I refuse to let this illness, or the pressure from others to just "get better" (trust me I really really would love to!) get me down.
Whilst over the past few weeks I've been finding it hard to breathe (literally at times) I am assured that this will one day all be part of my testimony. I know that there's someone "out there" within my reach who's helping me to fight, even when it feels as though my body is losing the battle, I know my soul i s not. And one day this will be able to say to others "I faced darkness once before, and the fear that closed in on me each day, but I made it and so will you." I'm trying to focus on the light...
So my question is to you, given what you are facing right now - all the trials life throws at you... how's your soul?
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