Love with an agenda?

We had a great church service last night. It's the holiday period which basically means that half of Torquay have moved out to ensure that there is enough room for all the tourists to come in! haha! I think it bothers you more if you own a car, but as I don't, it doesn't bother me - bring on the tourists I say! But essentially it also meant that a lot of people were away from church (three of our families are in Queensland - at the same time!!) So, rather than have "normal" church (whatever that means, as we always try to shake things up a bit and have church look different every week), we've gone to a "Live, Unplugged" version...sitting around tables, and chatting over a NOOMA Dvd.

Last night, we just happened to put on one of my favourite NOOMA's - 09. BullHorn. For those of you who don't know, NOOMA is put together by Rob Bell, author of "Velvet Elvis" & "Sex.God". He's a modern day theologin, emerging church leader and all-round legendary guy if you ask me. His NOOMA dvd's are between 15-25minutes long, and tackle big biblical and Christian issues in a modern and down-to-earth, in-your-face kinda way.

The reason I love BullHorn so much, is that it tackles the issue of Evangelism. Now let me say at the outset, Evangelism is NOT my spiritual gift, so you need to understand my viewpoint is not that of an evangelist, but more as a disciple and friend of people. But to be honest, I struggle with modern-day evangelism which sees us trying to "save" all our "friends" and put another notch in our spiritual belt. You know the sort "Well I've saved 20 people from the fires of hell and damnation, how bout you?"... it grates on my nerves more than anything else, I can't tell you! BullHorn is aimed at that guy - you know the one - who stands there with a megaphone yelling at people on the street corners that they are going to hell if they don't follow Jesus - it's all damnation and fire and brimstone, and in my personal opinion - moves people a step further from God not towards Him.

About a year ago, I was sitting with a young girl in the city, she was 16, and had been on the streets for the past year or two on and off (when the Department didn't have her placed in a foster home which she would leave after a day or two), and had been abused - both physically and sexually for many years. She was a heroin user - more to numb the pain than anything else I suppose. We were having one of those really deep and wonderful conversations, where we were sharing with each other our hopes and dreams for the future - as unprofessional as that may seem to the "professional social workers" out there - I was really connecting with her as a friend, and over the previous months had really started to love spending our time together and sharing with her. On this particular day, one of those Bullhorn guys - with the megaphone and the hell and damnation - was screaming down his megaphone that fornicators and drug addicts were going to hell unless they gave their lives to Jesus right there and then. I could tell my friend was getting really uncomfortable, really angry - and I knew once she was angry our great conversation would end. And suddenly she turned to me and said "You know what Sarah, what he doesn't understand is that I am in hell".... and with that she grabbed her cigarettes and coffee, told me she'd see me next week and started walking. My heart sank, because I knew she was right. She was in hell. Her whole life was hell. She didn't need to hear she was a sinner and that God was judging her, she needed to hear that her Creator loved her, and longed to be in relationship with her. That Jesus heart broke for the way she'd been treated and that He longed to love her, to hold her in His arms, and to bring healing and restoration to her life.

But beyond being for that guy - the message was for those Christians who see that saving a person is more important than anything else. The person who goes out there and deliberately makes friends with Non-Christians, for the sole purpose of saving their soul, and putting yet another notch in that belt of theirs.

The greatest line in the DVD (I think) is when Rob Bell tackles this by challenging those of us who go out to "love" our non-christian friends, in order to save them and says:

"Because loving people with an agenda isn't really loving them is it?"

Bingo! You can't genuinely love people when you have an agenda. You either love them or you don't. There is no agenda's in love. It should be unconditional. I'm not going to go out there and deliberately make friends with people who don't know Jesus and who I probably wouldn't be friends with if I didn't force myself to love them because I'm scared they're going to hell. Because that's not true friendship. I would say at least half - if not more - of my friends do not know Jesus yet. In fact, the only Jesus they know is the Jesus they see in me. But I'm not loving them because I'm wanting to see them saved...I love them because they enrich my life, because they are unique and brilliant and precious. I think sometimes we get it the wrong way round - we love people to get them to know Jesus, instead of wanting them to know Jesus because we love them!

And you know what - I may not be an evangelist, but you'd be surprised how many of your friends who don't yet know Jesus will ask you spiritual questions if you love them without an agenda. Some of my gay friends have asked why I hang out with them even though I'm a Christian, and I'm able to say to them it's because I love them, and they are important to me. When they ask what my church would think about it I'm able to say that even if my church had a problem with it (which it doesn't), I wouldn't care, because if Jesus came back, he'd be hanging out with us, not sitting in church somewhere.

And other friends of mine, who have had bad experiences with church will meet my friends and comment on how non-churchy we are, that we are normal just like them. And I'm able to tell them - the churchy type of people annoy me too! I want to be with people who's faith is real, who have real issues, and real problems, and for whom Jesus is a part of their every day life! And it's surprising how much that actually reaches people.

So BullHorn guy - or evangelist expert - or Christian who's looking to get more notches on their belt - cut it out. Just love people for who they are. Don't see them as Christ-followers or non-Christ followers... see them as friends, who you love, regardless of whether they make a life-long decision to follow Jesus. Because they don't need YOU to save them, they've already got a Saviour, and He did a pretty good job - they need YOU to LOVE them. Jesus will do the rest!

CHRISTmas

I have to say I love Christmas - I love the lights, the trees, the gift giving, the cards, the songs, the way everyone is nice to each other and most of all I love the Christmas story.

This year I got some great gifts - Two pairs of Havaiana's (one with bling - thanks Phill & K), Greys Anatomy & Entourage DVD's, jewellry, make up, manicure stuff, awesome bowls for my kitchen, the works. But my two favourite gifts came from friends who chose to make someone elses life better on my behalf. The kids from LiveWires (and my good friend Ann) the kids drop in centre I worked at last year and for the first six months of this year, educated a child for me through TEAR, and my friend from church Wato bought me a chicken through JustSalvos. We have so much "Stuff" in our lives, don't we? This year, I know that two of my friends have ensured that my gift has changed the lives of children and villages.

Isn't that what the Christmas story is about? That God, who created us, loved us so much that He sent His Son to the world to bring love and peace and goodwill. But somewhere along the lines, we've missed the point. We've made Christmas about us, about what we can get and what gifts we can give. And there is nothing wrong with giving gifts - in fact, coming a close second to Physical Touch, Gifts are my love language. I love to give my friends presents, even more than getting gifts. In fact, I loved that at my parents church (South Barwon Salvos) there was so much love among the church family as they gave each other gifts and shared the spirit of Christmas... And because I love gifts, I began to wonder, what gift could I give Jesus - I mean it was His birthday after all.

One of my favourite Christmas Carols (aside from Oh Holy Night, which will make me cry every time), is "In the Bleak Midwinter", in particular the verse:

What can I give him,
Poor as I am?
If I were a shepherd
I would bring a lamb,
If I were a wise man
I would do my part,
Yet what I can I give Him —
Give my heart.

So this year, I want to give Christ the gift of all of me - not just at work, not just in my prayer time, but all year round... My whole heart, not just the lonely parts, the lot.

What can you give Him?

A life less ordinary, or is ordinary enough?!

Last night we completed our five weeks of the Journey's course. Journey's is a kind of "Introduction to Christianity" type course - encouraging people to ask the question "Is there a spiritual side to me?" and "What would that look like if there was?".

Our entire small group are Christians - many of them have been for quite some time in fact. Our small group leader (also our Corps Officer!) decided that it would be good for some of us who (like me) have never done it before, as we use it quite a lot with people who want to know more about God and Jesus - and in many cases, it has lead to these people making a decision not only to follow God, but to become members of our church.

But I digress. As I mentioned, we are already Christians in our small group, so as we completed our course last night, and the final question on the DVD is "Are you willing to giv this Christianity thing a try?!" - well we've already done that, so the question for our group inevitably moved to our own conversions. One of my friends from church and I are both Pastors Kids (well I'm an Officers Kid). We don't really remember our conversion being that big of a deal - except of course for our parents - but more just a natural progression in our journey. We both talked about how growing up we heard these amazing conversion stories, of people who were prostitutes and had a blinding light experience where they became Christians and their lives instantly changed. I mentioned when I heard those stories growing up, I was always jealous that for me, I didn't have a special story - I just was asked in Sunbeams one night if I'd ever asked Jesus into my heart, and I said not out loud, so I did. But there was no dramatic change, because for me - Jesus had always been a very important part of my life.

That was when Liz posed the question - "Do you think we need to hear more ordinary stories?". What an a-ha moment for me! Yes we do need to hear more ordinary stories! You see for kids like Liz and I - we were never able to connect with those dramatic conversions - we were in awe of them - but they didn't speak to us. And if there are a large chunk of kids out there who are the same - who's lives aren't bad, who's lives aren't full of neglect and abuse and pain - then where are the stories that resound with them - the stories of "ordinary" people leading "normal" lives who recognized that there was a spiritual side to them that could only be filled by Jesus.

And why are we, who had "ordinary" lives and conversions, not as willing to jump up and shout and tell that story to people? We have been fed the lie that our conversion, that our spirituality, that our story - is not as valid because it wasn't as miraculous - but the thing is - it is valid and it is miraculous!

If you make a decision at 8 years old to follow Jesus, and you're still following Jesus at 9 years old - that's a miracle. If you make that decision at 8 years old and you're still following at 28 years old - that's a miracle! If you made that decision at 8 years old and you are still a Christian at 58 years old, that's a miracle! You are a living saint. Because you still have a choice. Every single day, you have a choice. You can choose to allow Jesus to be part of your life, or you can choose to go through life on your own. Your life is not ordinary. My life is not ordinary!

And you know the first people that would celebrate that fact with you - those with miraculous conversions! I've known many addicts and prostitutes and abused people who have come to know Jesus - and they realized how much of a difference He has made in their lives. And many of them - if not all of them - would say they wish they'd met Jesus at 8 years old and walked their whole life with Him!

So you living saints out there - celebrate your ordinary conversion! Tell people about it! Celebrate your ordinary lives - because in God's eyes - your life is so much more than ordinary!!!!

Girls - won't you help us?!

Please excuse me while I rant for one moment.

I want to rant directly at the girls out there, who are not helping us out one bit. The girls who think that if they sexualise themselves and us, they are powerful. Sex might equal power in your eyes, but I'm sorry - it's not lasting. It's just not. And if you want to be taken seriously, for your voice to be heard, for your opinion to be valued - STOP USING YOUR SEXUALITY!

Agh! It honestly makes me sick.

I've been fighting quite a bad cold lately. It's been annoying more than anything, and over the past three nights it has given me incredibly broken sleep - you know the type, awake for half an hour, sleep for an hour, awake again for an hour... so annoying.

So last night, I decided to sleep on the couch, that way when I awoke, I could watch a bit of telly and doze back off. At about midnight, I arose and put the telly on after taking my panadol, and Video Hits was on. It was a special on Guy Sebastian, so I thought "why not" as we all know I'm a bit of a fan of his. It's nice to see a good Christian guy making it in the mainstream. So I settled down with my cup of tea and proceeded to watch this - what would Pink call her - "Stupid girl" Fuzzy flirting up a storm - giggling and throwing herself at Guy. Seriously, she was batting her eye-lashes, throwing her chest in front of him and just generally flirting up a storm - and it made me feel even more ill! I especially "liked" how when Guy was talking about how he wrote "Oh Oh" to talk about the women who use their female mojo (oh oh) to get guys in trouble, and she leans into him and giggles - HONEY HE'S TALKING ABOUT GIRLS LIKE YOU!!!

Over the past few years, I've been able to go around and talk to girls about femaleness and identity - and mostly, we get to talking about sexuality. I (and a few of my peers) have a theory that the 60's and 70's were all about womens lib - equal rights for men AND women - burning of the bra and all that. Women desperate to be acknowledged and VALUED for who they are. The 80's saw women de-sexualise themselves, taking on a more masculine form in the board-room - being a woman was seen as being weak, so we saw a corporate woman rise up and take her place - among the boys. But the late 90's and recently, it's almost as if we've done a complete backflip thanks to the Paris & Nicole's (and Fuzzy's) in the world who have realized that we can "control" men through our sexuality - so it's okay to be a complete ditz because sex is Power.

No it's not girls. Sex is not power. Sex is a gift. We were created to be sexual yes - it's a gift from God to us - for us to enjoy. But the flip side of that is that it can be used to manipulate and distort our views of why we were created. And don't just think this is a secular thing. I have seen MANY MANY girls in all sorts of different denominations - The Salvation Army included - who are using their sexuality to gain some sort of power over men - AND over other women.

God thinks you are beautiful and created you to be a woman. You don't have to dumb yourself down and sex yourself up in order to be beautiful - you were created that way. And any guy who doesn't see that in you - is not worth his weight in salt! So girls, let's take back our sexuality. Let's use it for good. Let's take the womans heart and soul - the sensitivity God gave us, and use it to change the world - instead of adding to the sexed up emptiness that the world is currently offering!

Girl's - won't you help us?!?!

"You are beautiful with God's Beauty. Beautiful INSIDE and OUT. God be with you!" Luke 1:28 (the message)

How Connected Are You?

Well what a week I had last week. I was at The Salvation Army Southern Territory's "Connections 07" conference, which was an awesome awesome weekend.

On Thursday, I had the privilege of working in the Creche at Officers Councils. It was a privilege, because as an Officers Kid myself (or OK as we like to be called!) I've been to many Officers Councils, and been "baby-sat" by countless strangers. So as an older OK, it was great to be able to give back. I love being an OK, I really do. Yes, there are some really hard times, and as I looked at those 19 children aged 2-5 I knew there was going to be some really tough moves they'd be taken on, but as a whole, what better thing could happen in your life than to be part of your parents ministry? I know that I have met people, and had experiences that God has given me through my parents' ministry that I would not have had if they hadn't answered God's call to be Officers.

Friday was probably my highlight though. I spent time going from session to session with my family - hearing some of the greatest speakers and practitioners in Social Work speaking to some of the most important issues facing our nation. I was uplifted, challenged and blessed by their knowledge and insight. Particularly I got a lot out of Paul Moulds & my dad's session on Distinctive Salvation Army Social Work. I was challenged by them both, that we not only have to be extremely professional in what we do - but that sometimes we have to go against "professional social work" and bring the heart back into what we do. We as social workers have a choice to go after the most difficult "clients" or people, and fight for them - to be their voice when all the "professionals" have given up on them. We must have hope when they have none, and we must believe that their circumstances can change. We must not ban people, and exclude people from our services - for when we do, we go directly against that which makes us distinctive as a church, a movement and an organisation. AMEN!!! If you ever get a chance - go and check out Street Level & Oasis in Sydney - you won't be sorry - it's one of the best Salvation Army Centres in the world (and I've seen a fair few of them), and spend some time under the teaching of the Paul Moulds', David Eldridge (not just cos he's my dad, but because he knows what he's on about!), Wilma Gallet , and Noelle DeClifford (sp?). They not only talk about fighting for the "lost last and least" - they do it!

Friday night was a struggle for me, but made me realize just how far I've come in the past 12 months. How much God has healed me, and that God has rescued me from my pain and placed me exactly where He needs me.... Torquay!! And what a church it is!!

The social action march on Saturday was a big highlight. I loved that as a Salvation Army we stood together to proclaim that Jesus is the answer to the hopelessness in our world, and that we as an Army are here to fight. I loved standing with the children of Torquay, holding our banner they'd had so much fun making, and standing alongside my friends and fellow Salvationists, proudly marching through Melbourne's city!

The rally at Fed Square was awesome - and a special mention needs to go to Dave, Sonia, Heather, Danielle, and the 2Love Team who put on a brilliant youth rally that night! Frankie Wants Out were my favourite (now I am being biased I know, but they rocked!) and it was great to see loads of non-Army people stopping to see what was going on!!

Sunday - what an honour to be part of the Commissioning & Ordination of the newest Captains in The Salvation Army - the Heralds of the Good News, and to celebrate Phill & Catherine Abram (our Corps Officers) being commissioned. As I sat with members of our church - I was touched to share the introduction to the wider Army to many of our new members. The greatest moment of the entire weekend for me was being able to pray as a church, for two of our members, and for Phill & Catherine. And then to watch as one of our church friends went down the front to make a commitment to Jesus, and another one of our church members go forward to express interest in officership - wow... what a day!

I'm loving serving under the wonderful Commissioners Jim & Carolyn Knaggs. What vision they have for our Territory and the Salvation Army!

We're an Army on the move, and it excites me!!! Are you joining us?

Life Support

Many of you know that Rent is my favourite musical, and in fact, many of my non-Army friends were met either directly through Rent (the Aussie, West End & Broadway productions) or through friends who were friends of people I met through Rent.

I love many things about the musical - mostly that it is raw and real - but one of the ideas I got through Rent was that of "Life Support" meetings. Life Support meetings were established in the USA to help people either infected or AFFECTED by HIV/AIDS, and as Jonathan Larson (the Composer & Creator of Rent) wrote:

"Life Support's a group of people coping with life"

For a while after Rent finished here in Australia, I would meet often with friends I met through the show - either fans, or cast members, and we would talk about life, and how we were "coping" with the various things life throws at us - good and bad. They were my own little life support group. My friends who I loved and who loved me no matter what.

Yesterday, I met with most (no Perri & Josh sadly!!!) of the group that I went away to Queensland for the National Youth Ministry Convention with, for a debrief of the conference with Dave Collinson (2Love Territorial Youth Secretary). It was such a great opportunity to all catch up again, and to share some of what has happened since or as a result of the Convention. Dave asked us to do our "high's & lows" from the conference (which he clearly stole from Heather)and it hit me that my biggest High from the conference, wasn't anything the NYMC did - it was spending time with a bunch of great youth leaders from around our Territory. It was sharing with them our highs and lows, our fears and our excitement. That was the best thing about Queensland for me.

And that was the best thing about yesterday. The chance to show our new land, to pray for the future, to hear about what people are up to and what they need prayer for. To hear Dave's vision for the Territory, and how we can be a part of that. I had my very own Life Support meeting yesterday - a group of Youth workers coping with Youth work sharing with and learning from each other.

I pray for many more opportunities to do that - with all sorts of different people. And I pray that for you also!

Knowing Me, Knowing You

The other day, I read a bumper sticker which said:

"There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore, and who always will. So don't worry about people from your past, there is a reason why they didn't make it to your future"

Them's pretty powerful words me thinks!

It's interesting though, the reason this stuck out to me most of all was that I've been thinking about friendships a lot lately. I have some of the best friends ever. I honestly do. I've got old friends I've had since I was quite young, new friends I can't remember living life without, friends who live within 10 minutes drive away, friends who live longer than a 10 hour flight away and friends who I know even though we don't see or speak to each other often, there is no judgement or condemnation and they will be there no matter what, knowing full well that when we see each other, we will pick up exactly where we left off.

The flip side to that, is that over the years, I've lost a lot of friends as well. I know there are "seasons" for everything, and that lots of people come into your life for a Season and that's all, but I've always struggled with that thought. That people aren't friends forever. I guess because I love my friends so much and I try to invest in them as much as I can. This has meant that I have spent many an agonising night crying over the loss of a friend, that perhaps was not the best person to have in my life for a reason. This bumpersticker stood out to me because of the line "So don't worry about people from your past, there's a reason why they didn't make it to your future."... there is a reason why they didn't make it to your future. Not all friendships from the past have ended badly, they're the "seasonal" friendships. But why is it that we try to hold onto the friendships that have broken our hearts? Perhaps there is a reason they are not in your future... and perhaps, there's a reason you're not in theirs.

I've spent my life trying to be a good friend, and for the most part, I think that my investments in friendships have worked. I've got some people in my life that absolutely blow my mind... people that I have NO IDEA why they are friends with me - we don't believe the same things, we don't work in the same field, we don't have ANYTHING in common except our love for each other. They are blessings in my life.

This morning, I was doing my devotions and started reading an old faithful 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 - the old "LOVE IS...." passage made famous at millions of weddings. But as I was reading it, I felt God saying to me, replace Love with Friendship (because at the end of the day, isn't friendship another form of love?)...

"Friendship is patient and kind.
Friendship is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude.
It does not demand its own way.
It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.
It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.
Friendship never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance."

I had to think - am I that sort of friend? Are the people in my life those sorts of friends?

Last night we had our small group again. We're talking about King David, which is great, but the thing I got most out of last night, was the Fellowship we were having. The opportunity to get to know some of my newest friends at a deeper level. One of the questions we were asked was "What sort of animal are you in a conflict?" and the answers helped us to know each other better. We now know how each of us is going to deal when conflicts arise within our group. We know how we're going to react. We took the time to listen to what makes us tick, and we got an insight into how our families work through conflict.

Then we prayed for each other. We were honest and raw with each other. There were tears, there was lots of laughter, but most of all there was a feeling of genuine love and friendship.

As I got home (at 11:30 - not bad considering Small Group starts at 7:30!!!) I checked my mailbox, and saw a card that had been left there (no address, just my name). It was from one of the families from our church (their children are Extreme Kids & Extreme Soldiers). I'd spoken to the mother on Tuesday after my shocker of a day on Monday, and they all felt they just wanted to remind me that they are my friends, they love me and they're here if I need anything. That's love. That's friendship. And that's what matters!

Don't sweat the petty things

Yesterday was a bad day... actually, let me say it was a REALLY bad day! Probably the worst I've had since moving to Torquay to be honest. It wasn't that any major crisis happened or anything like that, nothing dramatic, just things that feed into your mind and take over.

For instance - two different people made comments about their "disappointment" in something I'd done. Now for those of you who don't know me, I don't cope well when told I've disappointed people. I don't like disappointing people. In fact, I'd go as far as to say I HATE disappointing people. If you want to knock me for a six, all you have to say is "I would have liked if you had have......" and I'll fall in a heap and feel like a failure. Ridiculous I know, but a reality.

My immediate response when told what a disappointment I was, was anger... I was REALLY angry. Firstly, because one of the people involved had been upset with me for 3 years, and had not once mentioned it... not at all! And secondly, because the other person who I heard was upset with me (a) didn't tell me and (b) wasn't accurate in their disappointment (ie. I'd done what they had claimed I hadn't done!) So I went for a walk, but the more I walked, the more that anger turned into frustration and then into fear, and then into a sense of failure. You see both of these people probably felt better for getting it off their chest, but they had left me with nothing to do... they'd laid blame, but not given me an opportunity to do anything about their disappointment. It was too late. Any attempt of making amends was lost by the way they handled their disappointment.

So as I laid in bed last night, apologising profusely to God for being such a failure, and such a horrible person, and for not being enough, I had an epiphany. Their anger and disappointment was not my problem - what I do with their anger and disappointment towards me is my problem. It seems pretty simple to most people, but this is one of those life-lessons I've had to learn. I had a choice - a crossroads if you like - I could choose to go down the path of the "pity party" (Poor me, I'm rubbish, I'm worthless, I'm the worst youth worker in the world, I'm the worst friend ever, nobody loves me) or I could choose to apologise, try not to do it again, and move on! And that's what I've decided to do!

Now I know this seems really silly to some people, but the reality is, it's not silly to me. It's really hard for me to deal with other people's disappointment. As I've told most of my close friends before - you don't need to point out my failings and my weaknesses - trust me, I know what they are better than anyone! I have spent most of my life dwelling on those weaknesses. What you can do is be honest with me AT THE TIME I've done something, so we can sort it out. You can help me overcome my weakness, and failures. That's what I need.

So I woke up this morning, and prayed that God would help me find some encouragement, to drown out the negative voices in my head. Sure enough, as I walked out the door, and got into Catherine's car - I saw my little mate Saxon (he's 3). Big smiles, big excitement cos Sarah was here. Then as we were setting up for mainly music, Catherine told me she'd been praying for one of the situations, and that she just felt God saying "Blessed are those who are persecuted for my name" - and that I shouldn't worry what that one particular person had felt, because I'm doing what I can. Then one of my other little friends, Caitlin (also 3) was driving to mainly music and had talked to her mum about some stuff and I had come up. She was worried I might need a little extra help and her mum came right up and told me how much Caitlin loved me and was thinking about me. Right then, I realized... I can choose to listen to the two people in my life who are disappointed, or I could choose to situate myself with those who God has placed in my care spiritually (our kids) and get my encouragement from the way God is working in their lives.

You see, when you stop sweating the petty stuff, you're eyes are opened to the bigger picture. And the best way to stop getting overwhelmed by negatives, is to serve others. I just read General Shaw Clifton's letter to Salvationists. In it, he reminded us of the life of Colonel Bo Brekke, and the sacrifice he made devoting his life to others. If Colonel Brekke had let himself get bogged down by the few who might have been angry at him throughout his life, he would not have been able to impact the lives of the hundreds (possibly thousands) of people who God has used him to reach.

I leave you today with a clip of one of my favourite worship songs - it reminds us that God is ever faithful, and never changes, but mostly that God is in control - and don't we all just need a little reminding of that!

Fighting my Goliath's!

We had a great small group last night. We've begun a new study - the Liquid Series - which is a great resource if you're looking for something for your small groups.
The first one we did was on David & Goliath (1 Samuel 17). I think when you grow up as a Christian, you get to know these stories pretty well but I think sometimes, God just gives you an "a-ha" moment ya know?

Last night, as we watched the dvd, I got to thinking about the Goliath's we create. Things that are so tiny in reality, but we allow them to get huge. Things like finance, relationship dramas, loneliness, self-doubt... things that can be fixed, if we would only have David's faith in our God who is bigger than all of these things.

I'm not someone who likes to over-spiritualize things, but my goodness our team has been dealing with some pretty hard core spiritual attack lately. I'm not talking demons jumping out at us or anything, more subtle stuff such as disunity, fear, and self-doubt. All in the lead up to the first birthday of our church at Torquay. Some of our baby-Christians (that's people who have just become Christians and are learning about the whole church thing still) have been considering becoming official members of our church - what a beautiful idea and celebration! But of course, those of you who have planted churches, or are evangelists will know - when things are going well, that's when suddenly cracks appear and the foundations are tested.

So we've got a few Goliath's to face. And the going is getting pretty tough at the moment.

Personally, I've got some self-doubt Goliath's to face (you know, "what am I doing, I'm not good at this, I can't do this, how could God really use me, I'm rubbish" sort of thing) and the more I try to fight it on my own, the more the self-doubt creeps in.

But something struck me last night - the thing about David was that he never doubted that God was bigger than Goliath. People were scared of Goliath's size, so they wouldn't even try to fight him - but David didn't see his size, David saw an opportunity for God to win the battle, and show people His power!

On his own, David couldn't have beaten Goliath, but he didn't fight him on his own, he fought him with God's power.

So last night, when I was lying there convinced that I couldn't do this, that I wasn't good enough, that I wasn't smart enough, or whatever else crept in I just kept saying "I can't, but God can" and repeating 1 Samuel 17:47


"And everyone assembled here will know that the Lord rescues his people, but not with sword and spear. This is the Lord’s battle, and he will give you to us!”

The battle is the Lord's, and He will fight it. I just need to be faithful to God, and TRUST in Him and HIS power.

For a bit of a laugh, I've included a great clip that Josh Griffin from Saddleback showed us at the PDYM conference and the National Youth Ministry Convention... love it, makes me laugh!

Peace to you all!

The place which God's prepared

For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
Ephesians 2:10


I've been thinking a bit about whether God is actively or passively involved in your day to day life. I've had some friends questioning this sort of thing lately, and I guess it's caused me to think.

I read verses like the above, and it would suggest at first reading that God is incredibly active in your day to day life, preparing the way for you in advance. Some argue this verse actually refers to heaven, and that if we act as Christ's agents on earth, God has prepared heaven for us.

It's all rather confusing.

But here's what I've seen in my life.

When doors are closed in my life, windows miraculously open... and I mean miraculously. When I question what is right (and by question, I mean I ask God) in different aspects of my life, it seems there is always a door opened or closed. Take my current job. I'd been feeling like an orphan away from my family since leaving The Salvation Army. It felt as if one of the most significant parts of me was no longer there. Suddenly, my parents are moved back "home" to Victoria, outside of Melbourne, to Geelong. I meet Phill & Catherine, the Corps Officers at Torquay (15 mins from my parents corps) and there is a window of opportunity for me to get a job at Torquay. The problem is, I loved Concern Australia right?! I mean, I worked with great people, I enjoyed the work I was doing, and I didn't want to leave. So I prayed about what God wanted me to do. I felt that if a specific thing happened, that would be a closing of a door for me, as I couldn't see any further growth happening for me within that position. What do you know, two days later, exactly the thing I prayed would be a closing of the door, happened... two days later. Coincidence? Freaky? Maybe, but things have been great ever since, and I was able to leave Concern on good terms.

Life has been so great here ever since... it as though God had been preparing me "for such a time as this", and each day I'm challenged and growing more and more in my faith, and in my personal & professional life.

But no matter what that verse ACTUALLY means, I know that it is true - that when we press into God, when we strive to be more like Jesus, and when we pray constantly to grow more and more into the people God saw when He created us, we can see God at work within our lives... and we can be assured that we are going to the place where God has prepared - on earth and in heaven!

AMEN!!!

Minor Christian Celebrity!

My friend Graeme absolutely made my day today! I got to the office and received a little button (badge) in the mail, which reads "Minor Christian Celebrity".

This little joke goes back to Blackstump 2006, when Mike Pilavacci spoke about the whole 'Minor Christian Celebrity' thing and how God brings you down to earth pretty quickly. If you're interested, email me and I'll tell you the story. But anyway, after Blackstump this became a little bit of an in-joke for those who were there. Afterwards, my dear friend Pete made me a t-shirt with "minor christian celebrity" written on it, and I was telling the crew from NYMC all about it. They found it as funny as I did.

It's so funny isn't it? That "Celebrity" has even infected the church... that we think that once we become "celebrities" we've made it! If people know our names, and talk about us in some way, we're suddenly special - or more important - or more scarily - more impressive to God. But doesn't the bible say "by your fruits you shall be known"? I mean, for some people, their fruits will be changing hundreds of lives through their preaching, but for others, it might be changing the lives of one or two people by the way you live out your life... it isn't about numbers or fame, it's about people, and allowing yourself to be used by Christ to impact lives.

But Graeme's pressie got me thinking you know - about where my life could have gone, had I decided not to return to The Salvation Army. Many of you know the decision for me to leave the Army was a painful one (the sort of pain I would not wish upon anyone), but because of it, I got to experience things I would NEVER have experienced without the time away. One of those things, was Blackstump - and the opportunity to preach at church, festivals and speaking in schools.

To be really honest, there is a bit of me that misses that. Not the speaking so much (I speak every week at Extreme Kids & Extreme Kids Live & Extreme Soldiers)but the things that go hand in hand with the preaching. I miss the community that develops when you're preparing a sermon, or for a festival, or for a seminar at a school. It's a unique group of people that you get to be around. And afterwards, because for some reason Preachers are held in such high regards (aka minor christian celebrity status), people wait to speak with you and you get to hear some really interesting stories from people you would never get to meet if you weren't preaching. These stories have impacted my life more than you could imagine - and often, I feel I've received more than I've given out!

Deciding to return to the Army, was a step away from that world. You see, the preaching opportunities outside of our church, probably won't happen now. The school seminars certainly won't (though as I wrote the other day, I'm going to be pushing that a bit more so that I can get young female preachers back on the agenda in the Salvos). It was a hard decision, because for the first time, I had to say "I'm willing to give up myself for the God to use me in the Army - give up my hopes, my dreams, my hurts - to be His servant, where I'm sent".

So in essence, I've kissed my wannabe "minor christian celebrity" days goodbye. Now I'm not saying that we thought or felt that we were celebrities - in fact we (by we I mean myself and one of my closest friends, who is one of the most gifted preachers I know and hopefully is getting more opportunities on the circuit - Praise God!) would often say "Anyone who thinks Preaching is a glamour gift, has never done it!" - if anything, the gift of preaching & teaching was more often a burden than it was a glamourous life (do you know the responsibility placed on you when you're teaching God's word!!!!). But whilst it was a lot of fun going to schools, festivals, bible colleges, churches and the likes, it was nerve wracking and a huge responsibility.

But mostly what I miss is the preparation of a sermon - the journey God takes you on before you preach. It's always a journey of pain, and self-discovery - God doesn't let you preach something you haven't lived. So I miss that journey so much.

But the really strange thing is, I'm so at peace with leaving it all behind. I'm so blessed now, God has given me a group of children to invest in, and is taking me on a journey with them.

I guess what I'm saying is that if I never become a Minor Christian Celebrity, that's okay. I want to be known by my fruits purely before God, not before man. And I'm praying that God looks upon the way I live my life in our local community, with our small but growing church, and says "it is good". And what could be better than that?

Salvation Army Officer Murdered in Pakistan

Many of you by now have heard that Colonel Bo Brekke, the Territorial Commander in Pakistan, was murdered at 6:30pm (Pakistan Time) on September 27th, 2007. Whilst I personally did not know Colonel Brekke, my parents had spent some time with him when they were serving in the UK, and he was the Divisional Commander in Scotland.

Obviously, when "one of your own" is lost - particularly "in the line of duty" - you feel their loss, whether you know them or not. From what I know of this man, he was a strong leader, passionate about The Army's work in Asia, and a supporter (and instigator) of The Salvation Army's Fair Trade movement. Upon hearing of his death, my parents decided to lead their church, The Salvation Army South Barwon in a time of prayer and thanksgiving for the life of Colonel Brekke. We made a tribute video to the great Joy Webb song 'Candle of the Lord" which I have included below.




At this time, we remember Colonel Birgitte Brekke, and their two sons.

We pray for the accused murderer, a former Salvation Army Officer, who whilst arrested, escaped from Prison and at yet has not been found. We ask that God would do a work in his heart and that he will come forward.

We pray for General Shaw Clifton as he spends time leading The Salvation Army through this tragedy.

But mostly, we should thank God for the life of Colonel Bo Brekke, and the impact he had on The Salvation Army and on the world.

I'm a Woman, and God loves me!

I've just spent time at two different conferences. I've been so blessed by both. The first was the "Purpose Driven Youth Ministry" conference, which was held in Box Hill, and which I loved. The second was the "National Youth Ministry Convention"(NYMC), which was on the Gold Coast (I know, tough life huh?!) which was also brilliant. I will write more about those conferences over the coming weeks, however, today I want to focus on something that has started to REALLY get on my nerves.

That is being a woman in ministry.

Now before you guys stop reading and think "here goes another feminist rant", I need to say, that I am absolutely not a Feminist. I am a woman. I am created in God's image. And God loves me BECAUSE of my sex, not IN SPITE of it. Which is why the way the church has been heading has got me so riled up and frustrated.

I need to say at the outset, that I have some pretty amazing men in my life - men who impart such wisdom and knowledge, and who treat me with the utmomst respect and love, and most importantly - men who believe in me even more than I believe in myself. So this is NOT a "Men suck" blog.

Having said that, whilst I was at the NYMC, I had the chance to sit down with some amazing women and hear their heart for God. I also got to spend some time with one of the girls who founded "anya" (a group probably most active in the UK and Sydney - encouraging women and girls to realize they are highly favoured by God and encouraging them to step forward in ministry), a woman who inspires me and whom I hold quite dear, Claire. As we sat down to lunch, with our friend Richard, we inevitably got to talking about ministry, preaching, and the conference. Both of us talked about how at all these conferences, there are "token" female preachers - and that usually, they are a lot older than the girls/women attending and that they are seldom given a topic of any real depth - often left to talk about "womens issues" or "children". Not that I have a problem with either of those topics - they are both REALLY important topics to me. I love empowering girls (as does Claire) and working with children is an absolute gift - but it frustrates me that at a conference with at least 20 speakers, they only invited two female speakers. That's just outrageous!

And yet it's the same in the church everywhere. You only get invited to speak at an event as a woman if you have a bit of a "name" in the Christian world, and yet, there is no way to get that name for yourself unless (a) you've done something they can't find a man that can speak about or (b) you are held in high regard by a man, who then pushes you forward. And yet there are brilliant women out there who can preach amazingly. Like Cath McKinney, Shirley Osborn, Deb Hirsch, Ann Van Leerdam, and many more.

In the Salvo world, it's even worse... I can't name ONE female preacher who gets invited to speak anywhere who is not an officer. Not one. And the really sad part about that is - it goes directly against what William & Catherine Booth, the founders of the Salvation Army held as important - equality of men and women in God's eyes. Women are worth more than being the worship leaders, womens speakers and kids workers. William & Catherine saw that, I just don't understand where we went wrong.

We got to talking about how the worst part about this is that when people hear you complain about this - they assume you just want to speak - like it's our way of pushing ourselves forward and making it about us. It's not. But the sad thing is, that because girls aren't given a chance when they are younger, they shy away when they are asked, so someone has to stand up and say "This has to change", and if it's not girls like Claire and I who will it be? It's not about me - or Claire - or the anya girls in the UK - it's about what is right. Girls are loved by God. Women were dearly loved by Jesus. In fact, when Jesus revealed himself to women - it was to women first - both at the well and at the tomb. Jesus knew women had something unique about them, and a unique way to spread the gospel, so He used them whenever and whereever He could.

So Claire and I have decided we're going to seek out someone to pour into us within The Salvation Army. Someone who will encourage our preaching and teaching skills. Not so that we can make a name for ourselves, but so that we can impart that to the girls in our sphere of influence - so that there won't be another generation of women overlooked for their gifts and their messages. We've pledged to each other - that we will find the girls, and push them forward so that their gifts are used - and so that they might be able to do the same for girls in the next generation. We're going to be proactive. And if that means that people think I'm pushing myself on them - then that might just be what has to happen - Catherine Booth probably had the same things said about her, as did Mary Magdalene no doubt.

So watch out - us girls are on the rise - because we are women, and God loves us!

The Little are BIG!

I'm so sorry it's been so long since I last blogged - it's been ridiculously busy here the last few weeks.

In my last blog, I talked about how I was going to be going through the whole "how to become a Christian" thing with the kids at Extreme. I'm really happy to say that because of this session (which I ended up running twice cos some kids missed out), there are now 4 kids who know exactly what it means to be a christian, and have decided they want to be one! And on top of that there are 5 other kids who prayed the prayer with them, so that they wouldn't feel weird. What an amazing feeling I had over those two nights. And with confidence that those children had made a well-informed decision to hand their lives over to Christ, I was able to hand them over to Phill to enrol as Extreme Soldiers. What an honour!

At Hillsong, I was involved in a Children's Ministry seminar, and the speaker at that seminar said that 85% of people who give their lives to Jesus are aged between 4-14. He also said that after the age of 20, there's only a 6% probability of becoming a Christian. Yet despite these figures, our children are lost to most churches because they don't tithe!

What a travesty! We spend most of our resources on trying to reach 6% of the adult population, when if we turned our resources to children, there is a probablility of reaching 85%!!!

I'm fortunate that our church has decided to pour its resources into the "little" because we value them and realize that investing in the "little" now, will reap BIG rewards in the future. Whilst the tithe my not be big, the impact will be huge.

As we enrolled our new Extreme Soldiers (all 10 of them, with another 3 yet to enrol), I looked across at them, with great pride, and with great hope. Amongst them were the future leadership team of our church. Amongst them were future teachers, doctors, lawyers, plumbers, administration clerks, mothers, fathers and leaders. Then I looked out to our congregation, and prayed, begged God not to let us adults fail these little ones. As I got up to preach, I felt compelled to share this urging with our church. So I reminded them that it's our responsibility as adults to believe in them, even when they don't believe in themselves. Not to look down on them because they are young. Not to tell them "you won't be able to do that", or "you're not very good at that, maybe you should do something else" but instead to cheer for them. To make a way for them to achieve their dreams. To pray fervently for them.

Over the past few weeks, as God continues to take me further and further out of my comfort zone, I've been having my eyes opened to the little ways in which we can make such a huge difference to a child.

One of my newest friends is Amelie. She's 2 years old, and one of the most gorgeous little cherubs I've ever met. When Amelie is around, it's hard not to smile. Amelie has taught me a great lesson. She's taught me that I speak a million words with one look. When she walks into the room, it matters to her that I smile, that I say hello, that I look at her when she's speaking to me, even when I don't understand what she's saying. I once saw an episode of Oprah and one of the guests said the most important thing to remember when raising children is to "let your eyes light up"... and Amelie has taught me the importance of that. When she's around, she causes my eyes to light up. And as I've taken that lesson into my new ministry, I've noticed the difference in my relationships with the children. You see it doesn't matter that we don't have our own space (yet!!!), it doesn't matter that our program is not whiz-bang brilliant (yet!!!), or that I'm not the most creative leader they'll ever meet - they don't need any of that. They need to see my eyes light up when they walk into the room. They need to see that I believe in them, care for them, love them.

So my newest lesson, is that the little - are big. And I have a big responsibility, to do the little things.

Extreme Soldiers are Totally Forgiven!

Torquay just keeps taking me out of my comfort zone - and I am loving every second of it!

Many of you know that evangelism isn't exactly my spiritual gift. In fact, I really struggle to do the whole - You should be a Christian thing. It's not that I don't value people who are evangelists - I value them heaps! I just don't feel comfortable doing it. I'm more a "get alongside" my friends and let my life bear witness to Christ sorta girl. I'm much more comfortable journeying with someone who's already made a commitment than asking someone to make one in the first place.

But being part of a church plant, you just don't have that luxury. And the more I work alongside Catherine, Phill, Lyndel & Simon, the more I'm inspired to share my faith with people and jump out of my comfort zone to talk about Christ.

On Tuesday we started a new "Journey's" group with some of our mums from mainly music (the preschool kids & mums music program we run). Two mum's who are not-yet Christians came along - and two other mums who are already Christians are going to go along and join Catherine in taking part in this group - exploring "Is there a spiritual side to me and if there is a God, what does He look like?" type of issues. I go along and take care of the children so that they can be completely focussed on the group. And hearing Catherine talk about it afterwards compelled me to pray about what God wants me to do for our children at Torquay.

The scary thing about asking God what He wants is that He will actually tell you! And He told me that I'm to do an old-fashioned - do you want Jesus in your life - sort of session at Extreme on Sunday night. Asking the children if they would like to make a commitment to Jesus. Do you know how much that freaks me out?! I mean really?! Honestly?! I'm absolutely packing myself! But I know it's the right thing to do, and I know that God wants me to do it, because we are inviting children to become Extreme Soldiers (Junior Soldiers) and naturally they need to be Christians before they can do this.

Essentially I'm asking for prayer. If you have a moment - please take some time to pray for the children who are coming to Extreme Kids on Sunday night. Pray that God will give me the words to say. Pray that God will be preparing the hearts of those kids who are not-yet Christians to be open to the message. And pray that the kids that have already made commitments might be able to help the new ones along in their journey.

I'll keep you all posted! AGH!!!

Amazing Love - Amazing Grace

So we had a fundraiser the other night. It was organized by our team at Torquay Salvos and designed to raise money and awareness for the Stop the Traffik Campaign.

We got a group of people (there ended up being 57 of us!) down to Warun Ponds cinema to see "Amazing Grace" It was a fantastic night, and the movie is brilliant. Here's a clip for those of you who haven't seen it:



One of the best things about being able to make this movie a fundraiser was that we got to raise awareness about the Human Traffiking trade that still happens in our society. So many people were outraged (as Shane & Dan would say - my rageous had never been so outed!) by that thought, and you know what - they should be!

We all should be. That William Wilberforce spent his life fighting to put an end to slavery and yet people can still be bought and sold for cheap labour & to be used as sex slaves is just wrong. And add to that, the fact that most people bought & sold are women and children - how can we as a western culture allow that to happen? And yet here in Australia, the work of charities such as Stop the Traffik and UNICEF to end child slavery is relatively unknown. And while we sit in our comfortable homes, with our ipods, x-boxes and playstations, and we eat and drink and hang out with our friends - thousands of children are being exploited.

Please take a moment to watch this heartbreaking video:



My friend James & I were talking on Sunday about how amazing it was that William Wilberforce spent his entire life fighting to abolish slavery. How many of us can actually say that we have given up our lives fighting against an injustice? Literally our lives. Years upon years upon years yelling, and begging and pleading with people to stand up for those without a voice.

As for me... I want to live my life as an act of worship to a God who cares about those children. A God who cares about all the injustice in the world. A God who wants the kind of worship that is ACTIVE not PASSIVE. A God who doesn't want to hear us sing about how much we love Him, but wants to see us SHOW how much we love Him. I want to fight, and yell and scream and DO something. I'm tired of sitting back and thinking it's up to others. It's up to us. So get out there, raise awareness, raise money, yell and scream - get petitions signed. It might not seem like much but if enough of us do it - maybe it will make a difference.

"Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves..."
(Proverbs 31:8)

The Abortion Holocaust?! Really?!

I have to vent for a moment - knowing that it will make me quite unpopular with both sides of the Abortion debate. We had a phonecall and an email about the Pro-Life movement in Geelong wanting us to get on board and go into the Politicians to lobby Pro-Life, as a statement of faith of course. My problem is - it's not a statement of faith at all. It's a political nightmare, which cares more for agendas than for people.

I'm sick of the debtate... I'm honestly tired of it. Christians who have no idea what either side of the story is choose a side and debate hard core "facts" based on their limited knowledge of the issue.

Let's start with the Pro-Life movement. I read this today:
"Since abortion became legal in the US 40 years ago there have been over 43 million surgical abortions performed; that is more people than the entire population of Canada. We view abortion as America’s hidden holocaust and we want to voice our opinion about it. Those who want abortion to be legal want to silence our voice but we will not be silenced. The killing of small innocent children by dismemberment and burning is an extremely mean act."

And on the same site:

"We have tolerated the beheading of the unborn for over 33 years. We have tolerated the killing of four thousand innocent children each day in our land. The number of people who died on 9/11 is the same number as babies who are killed from abortion each day, and most of us don't even think twice about it.The definition of terrorism is the use of violence without warning against those who are utterly defenseless. It is a willingness to act without regard to the claims or loss of innocent human life. That definition captures the act of abortion."

And finally the clincher:

" If we would believe the Scriptures, then there is no “choice” -- abortion is murder and a violation of God’s Law given through Moses. "

Now I'm sorry... comparing abortion to 9/11 is just cruel and incredibly inaccurate. How for goodness sake do they think this sort of message is going to stop a girl from having an abortion? How is calling her a murderer going to help a woman make any informed choice on what she does?

And as for Pro-Choice...well once upon a time, I thought I was Pro-Choice, I honestly believed that I whilst I personally wouldn't choose to have an abortion, I still believed the choice should be that of the woman who was pregnant.

That was until I was faced with helping a young woman who decided to have an abortion. And all that changed. You see, it started becoming less of a "grey" issue and a whole lot more "black and white" to me. As I sat in the hospital, waiting for the girl to finish, I realized, "I know this is not God's best for her" and I felt ill. Physically and spiritually ill. I'd done everything in my power to stop her from going in there (short of calling her a murderer and telling her that she was partaking in a holocaust or an act of terrorism!), sharing with her that of all the women I knew who had gone through with abortions (and trust me, there are a fair few!) not one of them has ever said it was "nothing" or an "easy" choice to make... every one of them have told me that afterwards they felt "empty" and regretted the decision. And some of them had a lot more reason to go for one than this poor young girl who was frightened of the family and cultural implications of her pregnancy... she was young and frightened and thought she was alone.

When debriefing what had happened (I'd never actually done the pre and post-counselling of an abortion before this time), my friend and mentor said to me "Sarah the thing is, God's best really is black and white - there is no grey, only Grace"... There is no grey...only grace.

How beautiful is that? I wish that both sides of the Abortion debate would stop and think about that. They sit there arguing about the rights of an unborn child, with very little regard for the woman involved. Most of them have never cared for a woman who's had an abortion. Never heard her story, or journeyed with her. Never hugged her as she's walked out of the room. Never held her hand and weeped with her as she struggles to come to terms with whatever situations lead to her unwanted pregnancy (and those situations in themselves are not just "oops I got knocked up, best go in for a quickie abortion" - they're always long and hard decisions to make). So who are they to debate either way?

My Christian friends who are reading this, and thinking of weighing in on the abortion debate - be aware that your words can do much harm to fragile souls. Your words can bring more damage and turn people away from Christ more quickly than they can turn her to Him. Your actions - showing love and grace and peace and support for her, regardless of the choices she made will show her Christ and turn her to Him.

The Message Translation (or as Shane calls it - the Gospel According to Eugene Peterson!) of Proverbs 15:4
"Kind words help and heal;
cutting words wound and maim"

I simply argue that if you are going to weigh into this debate...stop looking at abortion as an "issue"and start looking at the people involved. Do you think God cares about the issue or the person? Is God up there in heaven on His throne saying "Yeah, go you Pro-Lifers Go!" or is God sending Jesus to sit next to the woman in crisis saying "My beautiful daughter, I'm here, you're not alone, you can call on me, I love you, I want what's best for you"...

There is no grey - only grace.

Grace - not judgement - GRACE.

YERUCHAM or CHAVIVA!

Interested huh?! The title of my blog today means the same thing, and it's something I've been toying with for quite a while. It means "Loved by God" (actually they're Hebrew names meaning "Loved by God" or "Beloved of God" - I'm obsessed with Hebrew names - seriously I think it's becoming an addiction!)



Okay so I digress. Many of you know that I've just started as the Youth & Children's Ministry Co-ordinator (worker/pastor/ministry assistant?!) at Torquay Salvation Army. I started this position on July 1st. I had a baptism of fire - whereby I technically started on June 29th at Transformers Creative Kids Camp - our Divisional Creative Arts Camp. OH MY GOODNESS - what fun I had! I completely fell in love with Western Vic's kids and leaders...seriously - I thought I'd be a Melbourne Central girl forever, but Western Vic ROCKS! Of course we're only as good as our DY (like that Joel?!) - and I have to say, for his first Kids Camp - Joel did a BRILLIANT job!

I left the camp early (taking Chloe & Jack with me) as a group of us from Torquay Salvos were heading up to Hillsong for the week. Tough life huh?! My first day officially at Torquay Salvos was spent travelling up to Sydney. I have to say though, I'm so glad that it worked out this way. Not only was it an opportunity for me to "rest" for a week (though getting up at 6am and not going to bed until 11pm at least is hardly a rest!), but it gave me a chance to get to know the rest of the team more... um... intimately?! (as only sharing a house with them for a week can do!)

On top of that, I was able to hear from some of the best speakers I've ever heard. Bishop TD Jakes (it was like being in Harlem or something hearing him preach!), Jentzen Franklin, John Bevere (loved him the first night, completely disagreed with him the next time he spoke!), Loui Giglio, Gary Skinner and Ed Young were all brilliant. But my favourite? My favourite was a preacher from Singapore, Joseph Prince.

He spoke about grace & love. You know, nice easy topics to get your head around! (haha!)

I'm going to write another time about his sermon about grace, because it really helped me to (a) let go of a lot of the pain I felt from my previous experiences and (b) forgive the person involved! But today I want to mainly focus on the love sermon.

Luke 10:27 says "You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your strength and all your mind and love your neighbour as yourself".

It's a popular verse this one, probably one of the 10 most quoted I reckon. The biggest problem I've had my whole life is, how do you know when you are loving God that way? Do you read your bible more? Do you pray more? Do you do devotions morning and night? Do you never miss church? Do you go to church twice on Sunday? Do you join another bible study group? IS any of that really proving that you love God with all your heart, all your soul, all your strength and all your mind? And I don't really love myself that much at all (which is in itself a problem, and completely unbiblical but we'll deal with that issue another day), so loving my neighbour as myself isn't that much of a problem, cos I don't have to love them that much... I know people who love themselves HEAPS so that's probably harder for them. And who is my neighbour anyway?

Joseph Prince said the most freeing thing ever at Hillsong... he told us to stop focussing on how much WE love God and start looking at the cross and focussing on how much GOD loves US! Because when we're really secure in a relationship, when we know we are loved, and we can let our guard down, and be the person who we usually are (take off the masks and stand there warts and all), it's a lot easier to love... When we look at the cross, and how much God loves us... so much He sent His Son (a part of Him, God made flesh) to the world to die for all the things I've said and done, for all my sins....not just my sins... but the sins of my neighbour... all the bad things that they have said and done to me that I find it hard to forgive...there at the cross they stand forgiven...because God loves my neighbour (and my enemies) just as much as He loves me... and He loves ME so much He'd die the most brutal horrible awful death imaginable so I don't have to carry the weight of my shortcomings! Man that's love!

The reality of knowing that I am God's beloved. His Chaviva. His Yerucham. His loved one. His Anya. His highly favoured one. Man, that's huge. It makes loving God so much easier. I know that whatever I've done, or continue to do, I am loved. And because of that, I can be Sarah. Warts and All. Princess. Reedeemed. Forgiven. Beautiful. In the eyes of the only man who should matter... I am loved!

Suddenly, I'm finding it easier to love God with all my mind, soul, strength and heart. I'm finding it easier to live according to God's plan. To believe I am worthy. To seek forgiveness for my sins. And more importantly... to forgive those who have sinned against me....which is what Grace is all about. Undeserved forgiveness. Undeserved love. And if my Father in heaven, my Saviour can love me, and show me grace, warts and all...who am I not to show love and grace to those who have hurt me?

Many know that I have "anya" written in hebrew on my wrist... "anya" means "Highly Favoured" in Hebrew. And for the first time in my life... at Hillsong, in that service where Joseph Prince was preaching to 22,000 people... it was just me and my Saviour. He was standing before me telling me that I was loved. I was precious. I was anya. And suddenly, being a Christian was no longer a burden... it was freedom!

It's about connectedness.

It's quite rare for me to be spending the weekend in Melbourne, as since transferring to Torquay Salvo's, I've spent most of my weekends in Geelong staying with my parents so I can go to church. So last night I prayed that God would use this day as a blessing. And when you pray such things, it's often surprising how God answers!



Today started when I was awoken (granted late in the morning - hey it's my day off!) by my beautiful friends Ann & Venita who thought they'd come over and bless our household with breakfast. Unfortunately (well actually quite fortunately for me!) I was the only one home, so I was treated to a delicious (and healthy) breakfast of salmon, eggs, toast and salad. The beautiful thing about living in Christian community is that this sort of blessing happens quite often - but they are always appreciated.



Venita had nothing planned for the day either, so we decided to have a relaxing afternoon of movies and chats. We went to Balwyn and saw the movie "As It Is In Heaven". If you do nothing else this year, go and see that movie! It's all sub-titled, which normally makes it quite difficult to get swept up in a movie, but this time around, you forget they are speaking in another language. The film is basically about a famous composer and conductor (Daniel) who after a heart attack which renders him unable to work, moves back to the town he was born in. Whilst there he decides he'd like to take over the church choir, and thus a beautiful journey of community and love between people is embarked upon. You begin to feel part of this group of "nobody's" and on more than one occasion we were struck by how God was speaking to us throughout the film. I guess the biggest thing God spoke to me about was the value of community and the need for that community to speak out against the different struggles that go on within members lives. There was an ongoing theme throughout the film that many atrocities were happening in the lives of the people within this community, and nobody had bothered to speak out against them. Leaving victims to be left feeling hurt and alone. Throughout the course of the film, as people begin to find their voice/tone/heart song, they do start speaking out against these issues (such as domestic violence, bullying, prejudice against mental disabilites and the labelling of women who find themselves in broken relationships) and the community is strengthened as a result.



One of the central characters was Svig, a local pastor and his wife Inga. Svig was a good man (at heart) but had let the "fame" of being the local pastor (ie. Saviour complex!) of the community go to his head, and spent far too much time focussing on the sins and need for forgiveness than in the relationship he should have had with his church folk. There is one particular scene which was quite confronting. Essentially this pastor had forgotten that one of his duties was to be a good husband to his wife. He had forgotten that the connection with his wife needed to be emotional, physical, spiritual and sexual. And his wife called him on it. It was extremely confronting, but so very true.



It reminded me of something Rob Bell speaks of in his book "Sex.God". The theme of Sex God is to strengthen the link between your sexuality and your spirituality. To us in this world, that seems so very wrong doesn't it? But what Bell says is that sex is in essence about connectedness. It's about being connected to someone at a raw and deep and passionate and INTIMATE level, and that God created sex for pleasure. Sex was not just given to us for procreation, but for pleasure as well - it's how we differ from animals (though for some guys I know, I can't necessarily say there is much difference! haha!). Venita & I were talking about this afterwards and she asked me what every single person probably asks daily "But how does that work for us as single women Sarah?!" Which leads me to the most powerful and freeing thing I've ever read... if we can believe that Sex is about raw, deep, passionate and intimate connection - it's possible to be sexual without the act of sex! Rob Bell writes (and I'll quote it when I get the book back from the person I let borrow it!) that one of the most sexual people he knows is a friend of his who spends his time working for a not-for-profit organization... and is celibate. No sex, yet he is the most sexual person Rob knows.



When I read that I thought "I get that!", and shared that with my friend and mentor Shane. Shane then proceeded to say to me "Sarah, I agree with him. You are the most sexual person I know, yet you are celibate. When I'm with you, I'm drawn in. You make people want to be around you and want to know even more of you, and you make people want to let you in and know them - raw." He also said that one of the gifts I have is physical touch. That when I touch people, they feel safe, and that it's an incredibly sexual thing - but not in the way the world sees sexual. In a deeper Godly way. I connect with people.


I explained to Venita that is what I think us single Christian girls can do. Have those deep connections with people, teach them the value of healthy meaningful touch, and being intimate with each other. We both agreed that was a precious gift we have been given, and that we should strive to deepen it even further. So I will continue to pray....to pray that God shows us as single women in an overly sexualized world, how to bring people back to embrace their true God-given sexuality. To ask that God will give us people in which we can have meaningful and deep connection with. And that God will help us to remain pure in our intentions and our actions.



After all...isn't THAT what Jesus would do?


I'm so thankful to God that He has given me a community of friends who on a daily basis help me to grow and strengthen my relationship with God. Who encourage me to be the woman of Christ I was created to be. And who I can be honest with, about everything going on in my life, not just the bits they might deem acceptable. This movie today, showed me it really is all about connectedness. It's about loving people, and letting them in. In a society that has tried to make sex just something you can "do" rather than a part of who we are, it is our job as Christians to reclaim it, to own it and to model the value of connection both emotionally, physically, spiritually and sexually. I'm striving for a further deepening of the connection I have in all my relationships, and look forward to the way God will reveal Himself to us through that!

Time to get serious about learning!

So I've realized that over the last year or so, I've become quite lazy in my "learning". What I mean is that I've realized I don't really read as much as I used to, and thus my spiritual maturity has suffered. So this year I've set myself a challenge to read as much as I possibly can. Given that I'm incredibly bad at sticking to one book until the end, I've decided to read two books at a time, plus complete a devotional, and not start another one until I finish one of them...this is tough for me... trust me! :)

I've been doing pretty well so far actually, particularly given I only set myself such a task in April! I'm quite proud of myself. So without further ado..the books I've read and recommend to you are as follows :


This was a small devotional written by Matt & Beth Redman, who wrote the song "Blessed Be Your Name" which just so happens to be one of my favourite worship songs. It is filled with inspirational stories of what happens when you choose to praise God despite your circumstances. It's one I'm sure I'll pick up again and again.

Okay, I'm going to be writing a lot about this book in the coming months, because it really inspired me so much. Rob Bell, famous for his book "Velvet Elvis" & the NOOMA short films, has written this fantastic book on the connection between sexuality & spirituality. This book should be compulsory for everyone to read, but particularly single girls my age (who are wanting to continue to honour God's plan for our lives) and as pre-marriage counselling for all Christian couples. It's quite frankly brilliant.
This book was written by my dear friend GaryBishop, and is an inspirational look at how we as The Salvation Army can get back into the Darkest places of our society that we have perhaps forgotten. It's a great follow up to those who have read General Booth's "In Darkest England and the Way Out". Gary has shared stories about the Eden Openshaw team (you all know I love them and am inspired by them in my own journey!) and how they have gone back into "Darkest England" to work with the marginalized and unchurched in Openshaw, Manchester. "Darkest England & The Way Back In" should be compulsory reading for all young salvationists!

I know most people have already read this one, but I hadn't. Until it was decided by the Torquay Salvo's leadership team that we should read it. So I have. It's kinda long, and detailed, and a lot of the stuff in it you already know, but it consolidates that. It's a worthwhile read for church planters...and whilst I still struggle with the idea of "mega churches", it did help me realize that they have their good points too. Rick Warren writes very well, and you don't get too lost in the detail which is good. It's also great that most of what he says is based on Scripture, which means that you can't really dispute it. He's done well. I'm glad I read it.

The books I'm currently reading:

Devotional: I'm doing the Bible Study of Angela Thomas' book "Do You think I'm Beautiful?" which helps encourage women to explore the questions at a woman's heart. It's a really good book for all those women out there who struggle with the issue of beauty and whether they really fit the model of "beautiful" I'm learning a lot about myself, and about God!


Another book you'll probably hear a lot about from me, is Rob Bell's other book "Velvet Elvis". I love the way Rob Bell communicates, and invites you in to his world and his theology, not as a way of forcing you to agree with him or shoving it down your throat but in a "What if" or "What do you think about" sort of way. It's really quite unique, and I'm enjoying learning more about my faith through him.

I'm also reading "Outrageous God, Outrageous Women" by Ross Saunders, which isn't an easy read. It's focusing on the outrageousness of the women of the bible, and how they broke down social normaties in order to follow Jesus. It's interesting, but not "before bed" reading!

In my quest to read more, please feel free to recommend any books you think I would benefit from! :) And let me know what you are reading at the moment too!

Blessings,
Sare x